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Chit-Chat / Please correct these few lines!
« on: April 06, 2013, 02:50:41 pm »
Hi everyone!
I'm currently making a game called Miss Anonymous, which is a platformer, where you play a girl, who fights against time to die (you lose the game, if you don't win it in 15 minutes).
Anyway, in each level, there's going to be a short line of text, to explain the story. This is what I've written:
I'm afraid.
Afraid of... the timer.
I got 15 minutes.
15.
And nothing more.
That's 900 seconds.
If I complete it...
I'll win.
Win everything.
If I win, I'll die.
And if I lose, I'll live.
But death is the beginning of the end.
In death, people will know me.
Maybe, I will even become happy.
Happy.
But only if I die.
In life, I was unhappy.
Nobody knew me.
I was just that lonely girl, who had no friends.
I was Miss Anonymous.
But since English is a foreign language to me, would someone please correct it?
I'm currently making a game called Miss Anonymous, which is a platformer, where you play a girl, who fights against time to die (you lose the game, if you don't win it in 15 minutes).
Anyway, in each level, there's going to be a short line of text, to explain the story. This is what I've written:
I'm afraid.
Afraid of... the timer.
I got 15 minutes.
15.
And nothing more.
That's 900 seconds.
If I complete it...
I'll win.
Win everything.
If I win, I'll die.
And if I lose, I'll live.
But death is the beginning of the end.
In death, people will know me.
Maybe, I will even become happy.
Happy.
But only if I die.
In life, I was unhappy.
Nobody knew me.
I was just that lonely girl, who had no friends.
I was Miss Anonymous.
But since English is a foreign language to me, would someone please correct it?